Monday, April 24, 2006

New Word

In a recent conversation with a friend, I came up with a word that, to my knowledge, hasn't been discovered before. At the very least, a Google search came up empty (and if Google can't find it, it must not exist)**. So here it is, for inclusion in Webster's next edition:

Evangetroll (i-'van-j&-'trOl) - An individual who posts on blogs or discussion boards for the sole purpose of notifying others that they're going to hell. Message content includes citation of scripture verses, heavy use of Christianese terminology and a call for repentance. Although some evangetrolls will return to carry on an argument with those who refuse to repent, none have any interest in actual dialogue. Evangetrolls are undoubtedly sincere in their intentions, yet utterly oblivious to the fact that their heavy-handed approach invariably destroys any chance they might have had of winning over their conversion targets.

An example of the type of message typically left by an evangetroll:

"I was deeply saddened to come across your blog/website/message board and see that you've chosen to lead a sinful gay lifestyle. Please go read Romans 1:26-27, Leviticus 18:22, Genesis 1-2, 1 Corinthians 6:9 and Genesis 19, since you're obviously completely unaware of their existence given that you'd immediately fall to your knees and repent the instant you saw what they apparently seem to say about your wicked ways (on which I am an expert, even though I don't actually know any gay people). I say this because I love you and care about your eternal soul, even though I don't actually know anything about you, don't want to get to know you and haven't read any of your blog/website/message board beyond the fact that it contains the word 'gay' in a context that's not completely negative and derogatory as any good Christian site would."

Well, okay, that's not how they'd actually word it, but that is how it comes across. So remember, kids: Just say 'No' to evangetrolling.


**Incidentally, Dictionary.com came up empty too, though it did helpfully suggest, "Did you mean sphincteral?"

7 comments:

Dwight said...

Hey E,

Well it is obvious that you haven't read that Jesus condemns your sinful lifestyle (whatever the hell that means, LOL).

Sorry I tried but I just can't do it. I just can't be an evangetroll. Oh well it wasn't my greatest ambition in life (actually quite the opposite is). Cool new word, I like it.

Dwight

Christine said...

great word! :)

jimbo said...

Evangetrolling...
sad but true, and very sphincterial

I think this word might stick :)

CrackerLilo said...

Sphincterial? Well, in a manner of speaking...

Love it, appreciate it, need to spread it!

And of course, I missed that in Bible club and youth group, too, and need a reminder...

Shae said...

"I don't actually know any gay people."

Perhaps if he did, he wouldn't be so judgemental.

GCB said...

oy!
I get those people more than I'd like, and of course, they don't actually READ the post they're blasting. I did a post about gay Christian art, and the guy goes off about "the lifestyle" and closes with "Like I said, I love you. This is totally not charicteristic of me to do something like this," ... uh huh sure okay.

Christine said...

I just got hit with an evangetroll today...although this one is at least ex-gay and quite sincere. But she says she's coming back with scriptures! That's good, since obviously I wouldn't be at all familiar with those.