Thursday, March 26, 2009


I can identify with this guy's complaint; I had a date last year that went in in a very similar direction to the one that he describes. The circumstances were different enough that I was able to end the evening cordially, but needless to say there was no second date.

If I'd had that kind of experience when I still had one foot in the ex-gay community, it probably would have reinforced the negative stereotypes that had been pounded into me for so many years. Fortunately there are guys out there who aren't just out for a quick fling; they can seem like a rare breed when one looks for them in gay venues, but the same could be said of trying to find decent heterosexual men in your average singles bar.

The promiscuous (gay, straight or otherwise) will always be among us; that's simply a fact of life. But as acceptance of gay individuals has increased in Western society in recent decades, it has become gradually easier for gay men who want a more permanent relationship to find one. It's a change that has taken place slowly enough that some outside critics deny that it's happened at all, but the gay community is maturing.

For my part, I think a guy who wants a relationship and not just a one-night stand is worth holding out for.


BentonQuest said...

I agree that the good ones are worth waiting for.

The role models are still not in society. There are very few stable relationships on view. The only one I can think of was the gay couple on Northern Exposure.

I try to be very matter-of-fact about my relationship. I speak of Nick in public just like others speak of their spouses. I don't apologize for it in any way. By doing so, I hope to present an example of a stable gay couple.

Marquez said...

Here here... As we mature, we look for deeper emotional connections. And as I can assure, that kind of relationship is out there.

Anonymous said...

The search for a compatible mate is certainly not limited to homosexual couples. It took me many years to find my wife, and she has admitted that she was asking the same questions as the young man in the video: "Where are all the good men?"

What I found my wife, I had stopped looking for a mate. I had stopped looking for anything deeper than friendship.

And that's when I found her. We've been happily married since '04 (we met in '98, got together in '01) and have been together since.

That young man, and you, will find that special someone. Patience, indeed.