As anyone who knows me in real life most likely knows (and as I mentioned here some years back), I'm a big fan of the Amazing Race. Although I doubt I could physically handle being a contestant on the show myself, I still enjoy seeing the world through the eyes of those who do get the opportunity to compete.
One of my favorite teams on the show's current season is Zev & Justin, two guys I could imagine hanging out with in my own circle of friends. Zev has Asperger Syndrome, a condition that, among other things, makes it a challenge to form close friendships with others. Justin is the friend who looked past those surface difficulties and embraced the valuable person he saw underneath.
In that respect, Justin has acted as a follower of Christ more truly than many who call themselves Christians. (I don't know anything about Justin's beliefs, but Matt. 25:31-46 and other passages suggest that our actions are more important than our words.) In my own life I'm deeply grateful for the Justins that have come along and accepted me as I am, sometimes at times when it wasn't easy to see that I had anything worthwhile to offer in return.
That simple act of unconditional acceptance is so much more powerful than we like to give it credit for. In the long run it's far more transformative than any number of well-intentioned efforts to force a person to change - and it ultimately earns us that platform that we so strongly covet to be an influence in the lives of those around us.
Conservative evangelicals have become our poster children for those who like to pick on other people's sins, but we've all done it at one time or another, either directly or through acts of rejection. For my own part I like to think that I've succeeded at least a few times in unconditionally accepting others (an act of self-sacrifice, to be sure), but I still have to face the fact that I've failed to do so many other times.
The world has plenty of moralists; what it really needs is more best friends.
Saturday, April 02, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Quotes
Admittedly, following as many politically oriented blogs as I do, it's a challenge to avoid becoming permanently cynical. With that in mind, here are a few thoughts that have stood out to me recently...
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
-Laurence J. Peter
One of the greatest things about morality is how those who claim to act on its behalf are often the ones drinking from the emptiest cups.
-Jeff Pearlman
Evangelicalism continues to be infected by a "shoot first, ask questions later" mentality which immediately attempts to strangle, or stamp out, or raze any theological reflection which is deemed as beyond the bounds.
-Randal Rauser
He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.
-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
-Laurence J. Peter
One of the greatest things about morality is how those who claim to act on its behalf are often the ones drinking from the emptiest cups.
-Jeff Pearlman
Evangelicalism continues to be infected by a "shoot first, ask questions later" mentality which immediately attempts to strangle, or stamp out, or raze any theological reflection which is deemed as beyond the bounds.
-Randal Rauser
He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.
-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Upside Down
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:9
"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." - 1 Cor. 1:25
"Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools." - Romans 1:22
In these and many other passages, the biblical authors remind us of the limits of our own intellects and of our need for God in all things. Although these verses often use nonbelievers as object lessons, it would be a dire mistake for Christians to view them as cause to look down on those who don't share our beliefs (as Romans 2:1 vividly reminds us). If nothing else, the countless disputes that have occurred over the millennia over every conceivable point of doctrine should remind us how prone we still are toward error and short-sightedness.
How sad is it, then, when we conscript verses meant to call us to humility into the service of our pride by using them as weapons to silence those who disagree with us. How tragic the irony, when reminders of our own fallibilty are used instead to bolster our faith in the infallibility of our doctrinal positions. Instead of engaging in meaningful conversation with those who disagree with us and humbly considering evidence that may contradict our interpretations of God's will, we close our ears to all of those voices, attributing anything we don't want to hear to the machinations of the devil.
At the same time we demand submission from everyone around us, and cry "persecution!" when they refuse. Our self-inflicted isolation further reinforces our belief in the absolute rightness of our own dogmas, and distracts us from noticing our hearts growing cold as our own certainty replaces God as the focus of our devotion. In time we become the very nonbelievers we think we look down upon, all the while believing ourselves to be wise.
"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." - 1 Cor. 1:25
"Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools." - Romans 1:22
In these and many other passages, the biblical authors remind us of the limits of our own intellects and of our need for God in all things. Although these verses often use nonbelievers as object lessons, it would be a dire mistake for Christians to view them as cause to look down on those who don't share our beliefs (as Romans 2:1 vividly reminds us). If nothing else, the countless disputes that have occurred over the millennia over every conceivable point of doctrine should remind us how prone we still are toward error and short-sightedness.
How sad is it, then, when we conscript verses meant to call us to humility into the service of our pride by using them as weapons to silence those who disagree with us. How tragic the irony, when reminders of our own fallibilty are used instead to bolster our faith in the infallibility of our doctrinal positions. Instead of engaging in meaningful conversation with those who disagree with us and humbly considering evidence that may contradict our interpretations of God's will, we close our ears to all of those voices, attributing anything we don't want to hear to the machinations of the devil.
At the same time we demand submission from everyone around us, and cry "persecution!" when they refuse. Our self-inflicted isolation further reinforces our belief in the absolute rightness of our own dogmas, and distracts us from noticing our hearts growing cold as our own certainty replaces God as the focus of our devotion. In time we become the very nonbelievers we think we look down upon, all the while believing ourselves to be wise.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Life Soundtrack 25
Don't Dream It's Over, version by Sixpence None the Richer
A little encouragement for those days when the world seems to be going to hell in a handbasket...
Friday, February 25, 2011
Odds and Ends
A few items of interest:
-Ray Kurzweil on global warming. While his line of reasoning seems a bit simplistic, it is worth remembering the rapid advances being made in technology - and that moving forward is often a better solution than going backwards.
Are the current changes in climate a sign that modern society is unsustainable? There's certainly a lot we need to do to take better care of the planet we live on, but having grown up in the types of churches that keep the masses terrified by latching onto a new prophet of doom and destruction every couple of years, I've learned the hard way to be skeptical of anyone who claims the world is about to end.
-In the "not sure whether to laugh or cry" category, Tony Perkins' description of the Family Research Council's work: "speaking the truth in love about the most important issues facing our country." The saddest part is that he no doubt sincerely believes himself to be a loving and truthful individual, even though his "facts" about the lives of gay individuals bear no resemblance to reality and the next loving thing he says will be his first.
-On the topic of groups that claim to be speaking the truth in love, Kathy Baldock's take on Focus on the Family's so-called "Day of Dialogue" addresses the whole mess quite well. Sadly, the conservative side of the evangelical world is still far too self-absorbed to see how many people they are driving away from God with their creative definition of compassion.
-Finally, The Onion comes through again, this time foretelling the horrors sure to follow if the Defense of Marriage Act is repealed.
-Ray Kurzweil on global warming. While his line of reasoning seems a bit simplistic, it is worth remembering the rapid advances being made in technology - and that moving forward is often a better solution than going backwards.
Are the current changes in climate a sign that modern society is unsustainable? There's certainly a lot we need to do to take better care of the planet we live on, but having grown up in the types of churches that keep the masses terrified by latching onto a new prophet of doom and destruction every couple of years, I've learned the hard way to be skeptical of anyone who claims the world is about to end.
-In the "not sure whether to laugh or cry" category, Tony Perkins' description of the Family Research Council's work: "speaking the truth in love about the most important issues facing our country." The saddest part is that he no doubt sincerely believes himself to be a loving and truthful individual, even though his "facts" about the lives of gay individuals bear no resemblance to reality and the next loving thing he says will be his first.
-On the topic of groups that claim to be speaking the truth in love, Kathy Baldock's take on Focus on the Family's so-called "Day of Dialogue" addresses the whole mess quite well. Sadly, the conservative side of the evangelical world is still far too self-absorbed to see how many people they are driving away from God with their creative definition of compassion.
-Finally, The Onion comes through again, this time foretelling the horrors sure to follow if the Defense of Marriage Act is repealed.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Weekend Reading
Fortunately other bloggers are feeling more prolific than I am at the moment. Here are a few items of interest that are well worth the effort.
1. Wendy Gritter on creating space within the church for disagreeing over whether God blesses same-sex unions. Part 1 can be found here.
I've long wondered whether a day could come when the church matured to the point of allowing this issue to be a matter of personal (or at least congregational) conscience rather than one that divides. It still seems like a pipe dream, but seeing others come along to champion the cause of unity gives me hope.
2. Rob Tisinai has begun responding in depth to the latest arguments against same-sex marriage. Part 1 is here. His explanation of rationalism vs. empiricism in Part 2 is particularly useful; without understanding the lines of reasoning employed by the former approach, one can never understand fundamentalist thought.
3. On a different note, this is a beautiful story. And it's an outcome that I suspect is considerably less rare than ex-gay advocates would like it to be...
1. Wendy Gritter on creating space within the church for disagreeing over whether God blesses same-sex unions. Part 1 can be found here.
I've long wondered whether a day could come when the church matured to the point of allowing this issue to be a matter of personal (or at least congregational) conscience rather than one that divides. It still seems like a pipe dream, but seeing others come along to champion the cause of unity gives me hope.
2. Rob Tisinai has begun responding in depth to the latest arguments against same-sex marriage. Part 1 is here. His explanation of rationalism vs. empiricism in Part 2 is particularly useful; without understanding the lines of reasoning employed by the former approach, one can never understand fundamentalist thought.
3. On a different note, this is a beautiful story. And it's an outcome that I suspect is considerably less rare than ex-gay advocates would like it to be...
Saturday, February 05, 2011
Vicious Cycles
I was recently reminded, via a television show, of the fact that bullies are themselves usually deeply wounded individuals. Whether they're acting out in response to being bullied previously, to some other trauma in their past, or merely out of fear (which fundamentalist religion is saturated with), life is rarely as black and white as we'd like it to be.
What's true of kids in a schoolyard is just as true in the adult world. The main difference is that the Tony Perkinses and Bryan Fischers of the world can cause pain on a scale that no seventh grader could even dream of. Whatever old wounds and deep-seated fears motivate them to bully entire classes of people, even they may not fully understand.
The fact that they and their ilk are victims in their own right doesn't lessen the need for decent people to stand up to them and work to prevent the harm they would do, but it can at least temper the way we view them. The Golden Rule requires that we not lose sight of their humanity, even when they seek to dehumanize us - and as human beings they are still bearers of the image of God, however difficult they may make it for others to see in them.
The bullies in our world might not appreciate our efforts, but by keeping in view the humanity that underlies their angry and hate-filled tirades, we just might someday come up with a way of breaking the cycle of abuse that made them what they are.
What's true of kids in a schoolyard is just as true in the adult world. The main difference is that the Tony Perkinses and Bryan Fischers of the world can cause pain on a scale that no seventh grader could even dream of. Whatever old wounds and deep-seated fears motivate them to bully entire classes of people, even they may not fully understand.
The fact that they and their ilk are victims in their own right doesn't lessen the need for decent people to stand up to them and work to prevent the harm they would do, but it can at least temper the way we view them. The Golden Rule requires that we not lose sight of their humanity, even when they seek to dehumanize us - and as human beings they are still bearers of the image of God, however difficult they may make it for others to see in them.
The bullies in our world might not appreciate our efforts, but by keeping in view the humanity that underlies their angry and hate-filled tirades, we just might someday come up with a way of breaking the cycle of abuse that made them what they are.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Community
In all the busyness of the past month I've become somewhat neglectful where my blog is concerned. Part of that busyness came from attending the Gay Christian Network's annual conference in Denver two weeks ago. This was my sixth GCN conference, so it's an event that's become a significant part of my journey.
Back when I attended my first GCN conference in Orlando, I was still in the process of pulling away from the last ex-gay ministry I was a part of. I already knew a few GCNers from local gatherings and several trips I'd made the previous summer, and they were the first gay people I'd (knowingly) interacted with outside of ex-gay programs. That first conference (and the next) helped me quite a bit as I was learning how to be comfortable in my own skin, and introduced me to a lot of amazing people that, looking back, I couldn't imagine not being a part of my life.
Since then the conferences have, for me, centered around seeing those friends again and making new ones. Not that the programming isn't worthwhile (the conference has had some great speakers over the years, including Jay Bakker, Tony Campolo and Philip Yancey), but it's the relationships that keep me coming back.
Were I just now attending my first conference it's hard to say how the experience would be; 430 people are a lot more daunting to an introvert than 90. Even knowing as many GCNers as I do now, I can only spend so much time in that large a crowd without needing to retreat for a while. All the same, I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Were I just now attending my first conference it's hard to say how the experience would be; 430 people are a lot more daunting to an introvert than 90. Even knowing as many GCNers as I do now, I can only spend so much time in that large a crowd without needing to retreat for a while. All the same, I wouldn't miss it for the world.
GCN certainly isn't for everyone - for many it's too conservative or too liberal, too supportive of either Side A or Side B, too religious or too inclusive. But regardless of where we best fit in, we all have one thing in common: a need for community.
A lot of people who have become disillusioned with the church have retained a belief in God while discarding all institutional forms of religion. I understand the sentiment and can't argue with the fact that the church tends to be a very dysfunctional place. But I don't see how one can hope to cultivate a truly healthy spiritual life without the assistance and encouragement of others who are headed in the same direction.
Hopefully the day will come when the church as a whole has grown to the point that havens like GCN are no longer needed. That day seems to be a long way off, but there are more encouraging signs of change every year. The Body of Christ needs all of its members - perhaps especially the more "unseemly" ones. And wholeness is a dream worth pursuing.
Hopefully the day will come when the church as a whole has grown to the point that havens like GCN are no longer needed. That day seems to be a long way off, but there are more encouraging signs of change every year. The Body of Christ needs all of its members - perhaps especially the more "unseemly" ones. And wholeness is a dream worth pursuing.
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