In an unusually clear-cut case of "be careful what you wish for," the next leg of my journey has just opened up in front of me. I have no idea what lies down this new path, but with the loss of my job I have no choice but to begin exploring it.
I was laid off from my job shortly before Memorial Day. I'd been uncertain about my future there since our new VP came on board last year, so the real blow was receiving a minimal severance package on top of the fact that my former employer doesn't pay unemployment insurance due to its incorporation as a church (which, in reality, it's not). I have savings and some small investments to live off of for the time being, at least.
On the positive side, this does force me out of the professional rut I've been in for the last several years. And it means I no longer have to partition my work life away from the rest of my life. I'm still deciding what that will look like (there are some relatives and old friends I still don't feel any need to come out to), but there's no longer a financial risk associated with living more openly.
In terms of this blog, it means I can share that I live in Denver and am an active member of Highlands Church, where I've attended since their first weekly service nearly two years ago. The name of my ex-employer will remain unstated, both for the sake of maintaining some anonymity and because I have no reason to speak ill of the organization beyond what I've already said here.
Also, I do have a Gmail account you can contact me through if you've ever felt inclined. The portion before the "at" sign is eugene followed by the number 256 (no space in between). I reserve the right to ignore messages that come across as trollish, but will make an effort to respond to those interested in a real conversation.
For now, this time off is an opportunity to rest and de-stress. I don't know what lies ahead, but as I stated in the subtitle of my blog, sometimes the journey takes you places you never dreamed existed...
Saturday, June 04, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Imagery
"I can never know beforehand how God's image should appear in others. That image always manifests a completely new and unique form that come solely from God's free and sovereign creation. To me the sight may seem strange, even ungodly. But God creates every man in the likeness of His Son, the Crucified. After all, even that image certainly looked strange and ungodly to me before I grasped it."
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Friday, May 20, 2011
Sow and Reap
Like many, I've been following the situation in Uganda since the "kill the gays" bill was first introduced there over a year ago. While that bill thankfully appears to have been shelved for the time being, it's still a fact that life is very difficult for sexual minorities in nearly all parts of Africa
In light of the massive amount of money and effort that American evangelicals have poured into Uganda, the very existence of this bill reflects directly (and negatively) on their efforts. I don't say that by any means to invalidate everything that sincere and caring Christians have done with the intent of helping the people of Africa, but it's a stark reminder that our actions don't always produce the results we intended.
Growing up I heard and read many stories of missionary work in Africa. It was exciting to see how rapidly the Christian church was growing throughout the sub-Saharan portions of the continent. In my own mind (as in the minds of many evangelicals), the eventuality of a Christian majority in numerous countries across Africa could only produce a brighter future for all the people there. Once Christians acquired the reins of government and instituted rule based on biblical principles, they would eventually transform their nations into free and prosperous lands.
Or so the line of thinking went. If anything, Africa is poorer than ever and its governments no less corrupt on the whole. That's not to say that the African church has accomplished nothing - merely that there, as here, Christians who enter politics tend to be corrupted by the system rather than becoming the agents of change that they dreamed of being. The compassion modeled by Christ becomes something altogether different when administered by the iron fist of government power.
Thus we see, once again, how rule by religious moralists tends toward tyranny as surely as the more blatant oppression of an overt dictator. There's always an evil to be stamped out (by violence if necessary), whether today's devil comes in the form of heresy, witchcraft, alcohol, wealth or homosexuality. The Ugandan government only takes such thinking to its logical conclusion when its leaders propose execution for anyone convicted of being gay.
Where the example of Christ teaches us that the ends of the Gospel are achieved through voluntary, self-sacrificial acts of compassion, the ends of any political agenda can only be achieved through some form of coercion. And while the existence of government is a necessary evil in the world we inhabit, the power it represents is a heady intoxicant that seduces those who wield it with the notion that they can solve the world's problems by employing that power against those perceived to be part of the problem.
Thus did the religious right abandon the way of Christ for utopian notions of turning the United States back into the "Christian nation" it never really was, and they enthusiastically exported that idea to the receptive churches of Africa. But where they hoped to see 2 Chronicles 7:14 put into action as Christians assumed the reins of power, they have instead ended up with a living example of Matthew 23:15:
In light of the massive amount of money and effort that American evangelicals have poured into Uganda, the very existence of this bill reflects directly (and negatively) on their efforts. I don't say that by any means to invalidate everything that sincere and caring Christians have done with the intent of helping the people of Africa, but it's a stark reminder that our actions don't always produce the results we intended.
Growing up I heard and read many stories of missionary work in Africa. It was exciting to see how rapidly the Christian church was growing throughout the sub-Saharan portions of the continent. In my own mind (as in the minds of many evangelicals), the eventuality of a Christian majority in numerous countries across Africa could only produce a brighter future for all the people there. Once Christians acquired the reins of government and instituted rule based on biblical principles, they would eventually transform their nations into free and prosperous lands.
Or so the line of thinking went. If anything, Africa is poorer than ever and its governments no less corrupt on the whole. That's not to say that the African church has accomplished nothing - merely that there, as here, Christians who enter politics tend to be corrupted by the system rather than becoming the agents of change that they dreamed of being. The compassion modeled by Christ becomes something altogether different when administered by the iron fist of government power.
Thus we see, once again, how rule by religious moralists tends toward tyranny as surely as the more blatant oppression of an overt dictator. There's always an evil to be stamped out (by violence if necessary), whether today's devil comes in the form of heresy, witchcraft, alcohol, wealth or homosexuality. The Ugandan government only takes such thinking to its logical conclusion when its leaders propose execution for anyone convicted of being gay.
Where the example of Christ teaches us that the ends of the Gospel are achieved through voluntary, self-sacrificial acts of compassion, the ends of any political agenda can only be achieved through some form of coercion. And while the existence of government is a necessary evil in the world we inhabit, the power it represents is a heady intoxicant that seduces those who wield it with the notion that they can solve the world's problems by employing that power against those perceived to be part of the problem.
Thus did the religious right abandon the way of Christ for utopian notions of turning the United States back into the "Christian nation" it never really was, and they enthusiastically exported that idea to the receptive churches of Africa. But where they hoped to see 2 Chronicles 7:14 put into action as Christians assumed the reins of power, they have instead ended up with a living example of Matthew 23:15:
You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are.
Sunday, May 08, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Life Soundtrack 26
Nothing Left to Lose, by Mat Kearney
For me, this song evokes feelings of a fresh start, of embarking on a new journey. Leaving behind the familiar and facing the uncertainty of a universe of previously unseen possibilities can be both daunting and exhilarating. I don't know when I'll next be forced out of my comfort zone to begin a new leg of my own journey, but part of me secretly yearns for it.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Projection
Kathy Baldock has generously contributed a considerable amount of her time to read and review the latest book by a Christian purporting to offer a "compassionate" response to the issue of homosexuality. Among other things Kathy observes that, while the author (Michael Brown) appears to sincerely believe he's being compassionate, she found nothing in the content of the book that any outside observer would be likely to interpret as compassion.
Based on my own experiences growing up in fundamentalistic churches, I don't find that surprising. While believers in such churches are routinely exhorted to harbor warm thoughts toward others in the name of love, compassion is inevitably divorced from empathy (and thereby reduced to an abstraction) since the idea that anyone could genuinely view and interpret the world differently than they do borders on heresy. Such differences of perspective must be denounced as either willful rebellion against "the Truth" or satanic deception. Any factual or experiential evidence that contradicts what they have defined as Truth is likewise beneath consideration.
In the twisted version of the Golden Rule that emerges from such conditioning, fundamentalists are taught to "do unto others" by first projecting their own feelings and opinions onto everyone around them and then demanding absolute conformity to that narrow vision. That they are conflating God's will with their own never occurs to them, since they have been armed with a list of Bible verses that appear to support their arguments.
While individuals trapped in this mode of thinking are not irredeemable by any means, it's not always feasible to remain in relationship with somebody who considers you to be a hell-bound apostate. But at the very least we can temper our reactions with an understanding of where they are coming from, extending the same grace we would hope to receive were our positions reversed.
Based on my own experiences growing up in fundamentalistic churches, I don't find that surprising. While believers in such churches are routinely exhorted to harbor warm thoughts toward others in the name of love, compassion is inevitably divorced from empathy (and thereby reduced to an abstraction) since the idea that anyone could genuinely view and interpret the world differently than they do borders on heresy. Such differences of perspective must be denounced as either willful rebellion against "the Truth" or satanic deception. Any factual or experiential evidence that contradicts what they have defined as Truth is likewise beneath consideration.
In the twisted version of the Golden Rule that emerges from such conditioning, fundamentalists are taught to "do unto others" by first projecting their own feelings and opinions onto everyone around them and then demanding absolute conformity to that narrow vision. That they are conflating God's will with their own never occurs to them, since they have been armed with a list of Bible verses that appear to support their arguments.
While individuals trapped in this mode of thinking are not irredeemable by any means, it's not always feasible to remain in relationship with somebody who considers you to be a hell-bound apostate. But at the very least we can temper our reactions with an understanding of where they are coming from, extending the same grace we would hope to receive were our positions reversed.
Thursday, April 07, 2011
What Matters Most
If I'm to pass some sort of exam on what it "means to be a Christian," theology and belief aren't relevant to the test. What is relevant is what Genie and my children can tell you about what I'm like to live with, and whether my years spent on a sacramental path have made me less of a self-centered idiot. That is what faith in God is about, just as that is what being a moral atheist is about.
-Frank Schaeffer, Patience With God (page 44)
Put another way:
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (1 Cor. 13:1-3)
Saturday, April 02, 2011
Acceptance
As anyone who knows me in real life most likely knows (and as I mentioned here some years back), I'm a big fan of the Amazing Race. Although I doubt I could physically handle being a contestant on the show myself, I still enjoy seeing the world through the eyes of those who do get the opportunity to compete.
One of my favorite teams on the show's current season is Zev & Justin, two guys I could imagine hanging out with in my own circle of friends. Zev has Asperger Syndrome, a condition that, among other things, makes it a challenge to form close friendships with others. Justin is the friend who looked past those surface difficulties and embraced the valuable person he saw underneath.
In that respect, Justin has acted as a follower of Christ more truly than many who call themselves Christians. (I don't know anything about Justin's beliefs, but Matt. 25:31-46 and other passages suggest that our actions are more important than our words.) In my own life I'm deeply grateful for the Justins that have come along and accepted me as I am, sometimes at times when it wasn't easy to see that I had anything worthwhile to offer in return.
That simple act of unconditional acceptance is so much more powerful than we like to give it credit for. In the long run it's far more transformative than any number of well-intentioned efforts to force a person to change - and it ultimately earns us that platform that we so strongly covet to be an influence in the lives of those around us.
Conservative evangelicals have become our poster children for those who like to pick on other people's sins, but we've all done it at one time or another, either directly or through acts of rejection. For my own part I like to think that I've succeeded at least a few times in unconditionally accepting others (an act of self-sacrifice, to be sure), but I still have to face the fact that I've failed to do so many other times.
The world has plenty of moralists; what it really needs is more best friends.
One of my favorite teams on the show's current season is Zev & Justin, two guys I could imagine hanging out with in my own circle of friends. Zev has Asperger Syndrome, a condition that, among other things, makes it a challenge to form close friendships with others. Justin is the friend who looked past those surface difficulties and embraced the valuable person he saw underneath.
In that respect, Justin has acted as a follower of Christ more truly than many who call themselves Christians. (I don't know anything about Justin's beliefs, but Matt. 25:31-46 and other passages suggest that our actions are more important than our words.) In my own life I'm deeply grateful for the Justins that have come along and accepted me as I am, sometimes at times when it wasn't easy to see that I had anything worthwhile to offer in return.
That simple act of unconditional acceptance is so much more powerful than we like to give it credit for. In the long run it's far more transformative than any number of well-intentioned efforts to force a person to change - and it ultimately earns us that platform that we so strongly covet to be an influence in the lives of those around us.
Conservative evangelicals have become our poster children for those who like to pick on other people's sins, but we've all done it at one time or another, either directly or through acts of rejection. For my own part I like to think that I've succeeded at least a few times in unconditionally accepting others (an act of self-sacrifice, to be sure), but I still have to face the fact that I've failed to do so many other times.
The world has plenty of moralists; what it really needs is more best friends.
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